Sunday, February 10, 2013

Hello, Handsome! Or, How My Husband Spent The Day Buying A Whole New Wardrobe.

You can call off the search parties, folks. That grumbling and moaning you heard was just my amazing husband being forced to spend the whole day performingslave labor shopping. Gasp! The horror!

We all made it out alive! Much, much poorer, but still breathing.

My husband got a huge promotion, that requires he have nice adult clothing, which means he needed a whole new wardrobe!

Why are suit salesman so careless in their words*? I don't think they mean it, maybe it's because they work in retail, but two of them said such thoughtless things I may have ended up with an indent in my scalp from all the head scratching I did.

We're trying to spend close to a grand on four pieces of fabric and some silk to choke him. Be nice!

1. "Come see me when you make some money."

Word? Come see me when you're not a presumptuous jerk in a too tight suit.

2. "If what you're telling me is true..."

Yes, we are the parents of the youngest graduating nuclear physicist in the history of Harvard. I have just become the 45th Woman Nobel Laureate in all of the prizes history as well. As a celebration, our family will be taking a private space flight aboard Virgin Galactica, and we want look good when meeting the reptilians and/or grays. My grandma is getting married onboard! Yup, he's a great guy, just turned 18, has three babies and just two baby mamas, still has most of his teeth, and a good job at the calculator factory.

Clearly I have a damn good imagination and could come up with a better story than, "My husband got promoted to management and needs a suit." Please don't question my integrity over something so silly.


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